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Celebrity Daddies: The Other Side of Fame

April 13, 2010 No Comments

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Few people are as silent yet concerned about their celebrity children as celebrity daddies: We see the mamas usually all up in the video shoots and commercials, but we rarely seen the men being these people. Well, rarely see some of them. A few, like these we’ve corraled below, seem to be celebrities in their own right.

Richard Williams: Serving it while it’s hot

Richard Williams, dad of Venus and Serena

Tennis Ace: Richard Williams, dad of Venus and Serena

Richard Williams is famous for saying he was watching TV one day and noticed a young girl being handed $30,000 for winning a tennis match. What he has waffled on is when he actually saw it: Was it before his two last daughters were born or shortly after? The difference is the same difference between renting an ATM machine and creating one. Along the way, Richard has steadfastly defended his girls from slander and bias, even when they don’t want him to. If any parent could hold his own in a reality show, Richard Williams is it.

Jamie Spears: In total control of Britney Inc.

Oops, did it again: Jamie Spears, Britney's dad

Oops, did it again: Jamie Spears, Britney's dad

Few fathers have as much control of their grown children as Jamie Spears, father of derailed megastar Britney Spears. When Britney temporarily lost it, father Jamie swooped into court to get named head of the “conservatorship,” which basically means he controls all her assets. She is no longer able to as much as hail a taxi without it being ok’ed by Daddy Dearest. Is it fair? Debatable. Is it legal. Definitely. Oops, Britney, you done did it this time.

The Cos: Hold the Jello Pudding pops, the lower economic people are not holding up their end of the bargain!

Bill Cosby

Bill Cosby, the father of the portrayal of modern-day black Americana

As everyone’s iconic father on the Cosby Show, Bill Cosby could do no wrong as he showed America a slice of middle-class America few had recognized. But now that the show is over, Cosby has been busy chastizing “the lower economic people.” He meant no harm but some took offense anyway. But the way Cosby sees it, he lost his son Ennis to ignorance more than anything else. He wants to change that. I can’t blame him.

Rev Run: Tougher than old, waxy, wrinkled-up leather

Rev Run

Joseph Simmons, aka Rev. Run, "The Hun"

So-called “Rev” Run has made more money in the last five years than he has in the previous 20, and he’s rapped nary a rhyme for it. What with his two daughters doing their thing, his famous rich brother, ex-sister-and-law Kimora, you’d never think he was one-half of the greatest rap duo of all time. But now he’s a fat slob. Not that that’s a bad thing. He’s a paid fat slob.

Lenny Kravitz: Always on the Run, hun

Lenny Kravitz

And My Daddy Said: Lenny Kravitz

That’s right, Lenny Kravitz has a grown-up daughter that you’d date, holla at and kick it with: Get over it. He can also jam. Born to “Jefferson’s” actress Roxie Roker and a Jewish father, Kravitz bang on pots and pans as a toddler until his parents bought him real instruments. At a ’80s party, (not an ’80s party per se, but a party in the 1980s, which, technically was an ’80s party)he met Lisa Bonet, and they had little Zoe. Today she’s big Zoe, and Lenny is Old Lenny. In January 2008, Kravitz did a nine-city tour to promote his new album “It Is Time for a Love Revolution.” The album has yet to catch on, but it will.

Lionel Richie: Easy Like Sunday Moaning

Lionel Ritchie

I ... truleeeeeee: Lionel Ritchie.

When your father’s most famous refrain is a triumphant “All nIIiight LooOOONG!” there’s not alot of hiding you can do: Enter Nicole Richie, who managed to stay out of the limelight until she befriended a wildin’ adolescent with the last name of Hilton. Lionel Richie is quite simply Mopheus to alot of old heads before the Matrix was even heard of. He’s the only living, active bridge between old-school 20-person funk bands and modern-day solo balladeers and was a songwriting machine before R. Kelly was bumpt and ground upon. Nowadays is a bonafide megastar in the Arab world, repeatedly selling out in places like Qatar, Dubai and Morocco. Why? Because with him, it’s “All nIIiight LooOOONG!”

Michael Jackson: Off the Freakin’ Wall


To top it all off, MJ is the anti-father-figure of celebrity dads, irrevocably more famous than any of his seeds will ever be, and cursed to shield their faces from society. Is he a good father? Not for me to say, but he most certainly is a walking WTF.

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  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00020031746525080078 Ms. Bar B:

    HA!

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